We Blow

Jul. 29th, 2008 09:10 pm
create_destiny: (Default)

ME: "Were you ever a Boy Scout?" (Asked while boyfriend was building the most illogical campfire known to man).

HIM: "No, I was a Webelo for a while, though. I don't remember much about it, just that we sacrificed a goat and we were all standing around holding candles and chanting to Satan."
create_destiny: (rocks in hands)

The BF and I headed to Gold Bluff Beach on the northern coast for some weekend camping. We brought his crack monkey dog and a good time was had by all. (Actually, I threw many hissy fits on the way but it was all worth it once we got to walking barefoot in the surf and tossing driftwood into the waves for the dog to fetch.) Being a mostly deep-woods camper, this was the first time I ever camped on a beach. I felt awkwardly exposed without a canopy of trees protecting me. But it was pretty damn spiffy blissing out on a campfire and hearing the sounds of the ocean churning behind us. An Elk walked up to the campground about 150 yards from where we were camped. We tried to take some pics but it was dusky and we were too beat to set up the tripod.


Two More Pics )

Naked Lake

Jul. 30th, 2006 08:07 pm
create_destiny: (Road To Karma)
Sometimes you gotta get out of the summer valley where the grass is stiff and yellow and go up where the dirt roads turn red. If you can endure the awful rattling of your 2-wheel drive (have faith!) you'll find green meadows with young pine forests where the earth is soft and crunchy and manzanita and sage sprawl close to the ground.

lake camp3

The air in the high sierra is dry and earthy and you can find solitary lakes with hidden camp sites right up on the shore. Your crack monkey dog can run free and you can swim and sun yourself on your own private naked lake.

lake camp2

You can collect hoards of firewood and stay up late watching the campfire flames bow violently to the cold air blowing off the lake and you can shiver and pull your camp chair closer to the fire. (You can think about how hot it is back home and ask your lover if you can wear his blue Buffalo Bills sweatshirt that you used to despise until you found yourself cold in the mountains at the end of July and he'll give it to you even though he forgot his toothbrush and you could have reminded him when you were packing but you didn't because you were irked at him at the moment and not telling him was your revenge).

You can chop up potatoes, onions and carrots, wrap it in foil with a hunk of hamburger and cook it on the coals. In thirty minutes you'll have yourself a silver platter.

You can carve little wooden boats and fill them with pine sap scraped off trees with your pocket knife and you can carefully place them in the fire in homage to your ancestors, watching the sap melt and sizzle, then burst into flames.

Two More Pics )
create_destiny: (Default)
I told my klutzy-even-when-sober friend, Beth, that we would be camping in a rocky, primitive area. I told her that we would have to transport all the camping gear down a steep, dirt hill. I mentioned this several times as well as my fear that she would fall and hurt herself in this terrain. What I should have said is, "Bitch, if you love me, you best bring appropriate rocky-hill-climbing shoes or I'll have a continual anxiety attack that no amount of alcohol can suppress." I should have said this repeatedly. I should have screamed it in her ear every time we spoke on the phone in the days preceding our much anticipated camping trip because she brought and wore these:


This is a photo of the dirt road we travelled to get to the prized campsite:


Read more... )
create_destiny: (Default)
I'm soooooooooooooo excited because two of my bestest girlfriends and I are going to go camping for a few days in a mountain range that shall remain nameless so all you serial killers out there can just put away the duct-tape because you'll never find us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black bears, though, are another story. They might find us. Especially if one of us is on our period because I heard that can attract bears.

As many of you know, I'm just not comfortable unless I'm obsessively freaked out and worried about something, so I'm really freaked out about bears right now. Bears and forest fires. Oh, and Republicans. But not serial killers, really. At least not today.

It doesn't help that I went to a camping supply store yesterday to buy a sleeping pad and when I asked the sales clerk if they had any bear repellent she said no but then proceeded to regale me with terrifying tales of bear attacks including one in which someone's car was completely ripped apart by a bear, simply for a single stick of Juicy-Fruit gum.

So I asked some co-workers what I should do and one of them said to fill four plastic cups with a small amount of kerosene and place the cups around the periphery of the campsite. This (allegedly) will cover up any smells that will attract bears. The problem is four-fold, really: 1) both of my friends are smokers and should not be near anything highly flammable; 2) there's going to be large amounts of alcohol involved; 3) one of my friends is extremely clutsy and accident-prone even when she's sober; and 4) the person who suggested the kerosene cups is a Republican who may or may not be trying to destroy some of his political opponents and a portion of America's remaining forests with one masterful blow!

So, I'm not sure what to do. I'm pretty sure that with my luck, if I get attacked by a bear, I won't actually die but will be forced to live out my life horribly maimed and disfigured. Also, I wouldn't put it past God to deal me a hand that involves me (or one of my friends) accidentally starting a forest fire, the guilt of which would surely drive me to a nunnery!

I suppose none of this matters, as I am convinced that at some point in my life I will at least be attacked by wolves and there's not a damn thing I can do about it, so I might as well rub juicy fruit all over my body and run naked through the forest embracing my blasted destiny.


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