I know there's not much that anyone can say at this point that will help very much. I recently lost someone very close to me as well, and I wish you and everyone who loved your sister quick healing. She will never leave you, but the sadness will eventually be replaced by fond memory. The time you had with her still happened; all she gave you was real and will never go away. She seems by her journal to have led a happy, guacamole filled life. I wish you the same =)