create_destiny: (Default)
create_destiny ([personal profile] create_destiny) wrote2007-07-20 10:47 pm
Entry tags:

No One is Free When Others are Oprah

You've got your glass is half-full people and your glass is half-empty people.

Then you've got your not only is the glass is half-empty but it's filled with toxic by-products, a rotting goldfish, some unidentifiable floating crap (oh my God is that phlegm?) and somebody with bird-flu probably peed in it and if we drink this shit we will surely die, but since we're dying of thirst (because of global fucking warming) and we're locked in this concentration camp (because of George fucking Bush) we have to drink this water anyway and therefore we are fucked no matter what people.

I'm actually feeling a bit better. I've been listening to The Gay Fun Show and now I want to form a support group called, "Hags Without Fags." We'll sit in the basement of the community center, chain-smoking, drinking stale coffee from styrofoam cups and bitching about how nobody ever takes us dancing. Maybe one day some lonely gay men will form a "Fags Without Hags" group and a Christmas miracle will bring us together! Oh the gay times we'll have then!

An old boyfriend used to grind his teeth at me and snarl, "Please don't end your sentences with prepositions!" So I told him to, "Fuck off."

This other time, I was sitting on a couch with a boyfriend and his dog. We were working through some difficulties in our relationship, talking things over, baring our souls to one another. He said, "You're my best friend, you're my true blue," then he leaned over and kissed his dog on the top of her head and said, "Aren't you Cassie, you're my girl, yes you are!" Yeah, I had to end that one, too.
gracegiver: (Default)

[personal profile] gracegiver 2007-07-21 06:20 am (UTC)(link)



It just dawned on me who your writings remind me of .. Charlie Bukowski. I was hooked on him in college but haven't read much of his for ... well, many years.

it's a compliment.

[identity profile] ygolonac.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
We'll sit in the basement of the community center, chain-smoking, drinking stale coffee from styrofoam cups and bitching about how nobody ever takes us dancing.

just say so and I'll take you dancing, betch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorrry. i'm pprttty fuckung drunk rite now.

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh. Am I really that profane?

[identity profile] faerieariel.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
omg, this is hilarious and I'm reading it out loud to my husband right...now.

[identity profile] dead-kitty.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I know what you mean! I miss having a fag! I went to a queer party and I waited for the boys to flock to me, thinking, "who's going to be my next best friend?" But of course they were too busy hitting on one another.

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
You're not gay.....enough.

[identity profile] metalgypsy.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
i could use a fag...

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh thank you faerieariel. Can you by chance send me a fairy? You've got the hook-up right, to the angelic fairies?

*sigh*

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
The only thing left to do is dress like lesbians and go to the movies.

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Life is just too boring without teh gays.

[identity profile] faerieariel.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish! Come to think of it, I haven't had a terrific gay guy friend for ages, which probably explains why my hair looks like crap and I've been wearing black loafers to work for about 18 months now. ugghh, I'm hideous.

[identity profile] lcurtis.livejournal.com 2007-07-22 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome back!

[identity profile] aggro-femme.livejournal.com 2007-07-22 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
This was hilarious. ^.^

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-23 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'll be here all week.

[identity profile] dietcokehed.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Ahhahaha....get him drunk, then table dancing ;)

[identity profile] ygolonac.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
I'm never getting drunk again, so that's not an option.

[identity profile] dietcokehed.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
yeeeaaahhh....well, I've heard THAT before ;P

[identity profile] c-inside-out.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Just read this out to my co-workers and they are still rolling...
damn how I miss a great mind like yours...

You got me too

[identity profile] sardonic-artery.livejournal.com 2007-07-26 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
I had the laughter into a fist over mouth moment.

[identity profile] createdestiny.livejournal.com 2007-07-26 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Aw shucks, thanks girl.

[identity profile] joeyouknow.livejournal.com 2007-07-27 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Very funny.