create_destiny (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
create_destiny) wrote2004-08-23 09:21 pm
create_destiny) wrote2004-08-23 09:21 pm
****NEWS FLASH****
I would like to announce that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ygolonac is officially my boyfriend now. Why, why, why, you may ask, would I fall for someone with a username like that? I'll list for you the reasons why:
1. He's a gifted comic with quick wits and a warped sense of humor. Perfect for stealing material from to launch my own comedy-writing career.
2. He makes $130,000 per year. Oh, I wish....he's actually on welfare. (Kidding again.) Look, all I know is he's got a JAY-OH-BEE, folks, something to do with insurance fraud and as long as he can bring home the fakin' bacon that's good enough for me.
3. He's asks me what I'm thinking about when things get quiet between us. Most guys could give a rat's ass and just try to shove your head toward their crotch.
4. We have a lot in common. We both spent a semester at Indiana University and had our stomachs pumped while we were there. Not only that but we both used to have pets named Jake. And get this, both of these Jakes are now dead. Coincidence? I think not. Let's get real, people, this is proof we were made for one another.
5. He reads. I'm talkin' books, not just labels on shampoo bottles when he's taking a crap.
6. If I mention something that I'm interested in and he doesn't know much about it, he goes and googles it. Tonight he's gonna google "How to pay off your girlfriend's student loans."
7. He's got a beard, and that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
8. He goes on walks through cemeteries and brings me flowers.
So, back off you skanky livejournal hoes, he's my boyfriend now!
ygolonac is officially my boyfriend now. Why, why, why, you may ask, would I fall for someone with a username like that? I'll list for you the reasons why:1. He's a gifted comic with quick wits and a warped sense of humor. Perfect for stealing material from to launch my own comedy-writing career.
2. He makes $130,000 per year. Oh, I wish....he's actually on welfare. (Kidding again.) Look, all I know is he's got a JAY-OH-BEE, folks, something to do with insurance fraud and as long as he can bring home the fakin' bacon that's good enough for me.
3. He's asks me what I'm thinking about when things get quiet between us. Most guys could give a rat's ass and just try to shove your head toward their crotch.
4. We have a lot in common. We both spent a semester at Indiana University and had our stomachs pumped while we were there. Not only that but we both used to have pets named Jake. And get this, both of these Jakes are now dead. Coincidence? I think not. Let's get real, people, this is proof we were made for one another.
5. He reads. I'm talkin' books, not just labels on shampoo bottles when he's taking a crap.
6. If I mention something that I'm interested in and he doesn't know much about it, he goes and googles it. Tonight he's gonna google "How to pay off your girlfriend's student loans."
7. He's got a beard, and that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
8. He goes on walks through cemeteries and brings me flowers.
So, back off you skanky livejournal hoes, he's my boyfriend now!
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10: Having spent some of my formative years in Indiana, I can understand your thick Hoosier accent. If you talk slowly, that is.
11: I have a younger sister also, so we can spend hours going over our favorite younger-sister-torturing anecdotes. Those just keep getting funnier and funnier.
12: I get up at the crack of 9:30 to bring you foofoo coffee drinks at work.
13: My little black doggie icon is the cutest icon on aaaallll of LiveJournal land.
14: We live in the same town. That's really pretty important, you know? Saves on gas and stuff. More money for flowers and foofoo drinks.
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Phear the BOBBY!
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THAT is VERY true :)