Incredibly Offensive, Do Not Read

[create_destiny]

Dear Michael Stipe:

Yeah, so you have some new French photographer boyfriend who is 17 years younger than you. Who cares? I certainly don't, because look at his freakin' shoes!!! I'm sorry, but are you his lover or his social worker? There is just no excuse for a gay man to be wearing bad shoes like that, especially in Manhattan. And to be photographed in these shoes!?! Why, Michael, why? When am I going to be one of the three women for every seven men you are attracted to? Are you going to write songs about his shoes, now? Do you have some kind-of velcro fetish or mentally-challenged fetish? Because I can be so very mentally-challenged. You should see how I dance and fall in parking lots. I can also let some type of crusty fog build up on my glasses if that turns you on.

Whatever. Screw you. I'm happy for you. You better marry this one.

Call me if you need a gaybee mama. But do it quick because my eggs are about to expire. My rates are low, especially if we skip the turkey baster and do it the old-fashioned way.

Comments

[whosplittheatom.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[mom-o-cass.livejournal.com]

i love you. best post EVER.

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

I think the gay men in Manhattan probably know more about what is cool or what will be than the straight woman in the flip flop state.

[handstil.livejournal.com]

hahaahhaahahaha yessssss

i loved that photoset to pieces.

[stephanietberry.livejournal.com]

hoooooooooray! You are on a roll, and I bow to you! Thanks for the laughs, baby!

Surely you're mistaken

[nodressrehersal.livejournal.com]

This photo doesn't look like love. It looks like:

"Dude, get UP! You're sitting on my fucking arm!"

"I'm Micheal Stipe. I'll sit on your fucking arm if I want and you'll like it."

Next on the agenda is a back-hand to the windpipe and a crushing knee to the chest.

[nightlikeariver.livejournal.com]

velcro shoes make me hot. so do short buses.

[anodyne19148.livejournal.com]

LOL! Good for Michael. I hope this one lasts.

Man, I had such a huge crush on him in the '80s when he had the long curly locks and was all mysterious and everyone assumed he was straight. The video for "So. Central Rain" nearly killed me when I was a fey teen.

[megalopoet.livejournal.com]

wha?! michael stipes, gay?! pshaw.
surely ye jest...
i bet they're just friends.


best thing i've read all week.
hope you've recovered from the parking lot incident.
xox

[mr-ed1966.livejournal.com]

Too funny!

[st-ranger.livejournal.com]

I wear bad shoes as a big Fuck You to all the gays out there. I'm a rebel like that.

[welfy.livejournal.com]

I wear these ugly Dr Scholls grandma shoes to work. Maybe *I* should marry Michael Stipe's boyfriend.

[honeywoney.livejournal.com]

It is not about the shoes but the size of the feet, and he has that indeed. No questions as to the attraction between Michael and Mr. Foot Long.