Incredibly Offensive, Do Not Read

[create_destiny]

Dear Michael Stipe:

Yeah, so you have some new French photographer boyfriend who is 17 years younger than you. Who cares? I certainly don't, because look at his freakin' shoes!!! I'm sorry, but are you his lover or his social worker? There is just no excuse for a gay man to be wearing bad shoes like that, especially in Manhattan. And to be photographed in these shoes!?! Why, Michael, why? When am I going to be one of the three women for every seven men you are attracted to? Are you going to write songs about his shoes, now? Do you have some kind-of velcro fetish or mentally-challenged fetish? Because I can be so very mentally-challenged. You should see how I dance and fall in parking lots. I can also let some type of crusty fog build up on my glasses if that turns you on.

Whatever. Screw you. I'm happy for you. You better marry this one.

Call me if you need a gaybee mama. But do it quick because my eggs are about to expire. My rates are low, especially if we skip the turkey baster and do it the old-fashioned way.

Comments

[whosplittheatom.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

I deleted the part where he can feed me a powered donut and I'll let white crap gather in the corners of my lips.

[mom-o-cass.livejournal.com]

i love you. best post EVER.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

I think the gay men in Manhattan probably know more about what is cool or what will be than the straight woman in the flip flop state.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

How dare you question my my fashion sensibilities. Velcro straps on shoes are NEVER okay. This "man" should be arrested by the gay police.

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

I bet you said the same thing the first time you saw someone in orange plastic crocs. Or Uggs.

[ygolonac.livejournal.com]

A few years ago at work management amended the dress code and banned flip flops in the office. There was nearly a revolt. We were >< that close to over throwing our oppressive masters and turning into a socialist paradise but then management realized their mistake and flip flopped on the issue and allowed people to wear them again.

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

that's funny. I've never worked at a place where they were allowed, I suspect. Though they may not have been expressly forbidden at Lockheed. actually, they might not where I am now, either, but you might lose a toe or some shit.

when I worked in Idaho, because it was electronics and because the air is so dry, you had to wear closes toe shoes...something with the ESD. You've never seen so many hippies in sandals with a closed toe. I didn't even know they existed.

[handstil.livejournal.com]

hahaahhaahahaha yessssss

i loved that photoset to pieces.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Me, too. I gazed at it for days.

[welfy.livejournal.com]

Photoset? I want to see more!

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

It breaks my heart, but here it is:

http://www.theselby.com/12_10_08_michael_stipe_thomas/index.html

[welfy.livejournal.com]

That AWESOME WALK-IN CLOSET breaks my heart! :'^(

[stephanietberry.livejournal.com]

hoooooooooray! You are on a roll, and I bow to you! Thanks for the laughs, baby!

Surely you're mistaken

[nodressrehersal.livejournal.com]

This photo doesn't look like love. It looks like:

"Dude, get UP! You're sitting on my fucking arm!"

"I'm Micheal Stipe. I'll sit on your fucking arm if I want and you'll like it."

Next on the agenda is a back-hand to the windpipe and a crushing knee to the chest.

Re: Surely you're mistaken

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

"I'm Micheal Stipe. I'll sit on your fucking arm if I want and you'll like it."

Hee hee! Those two sentences are going to be on my mind all day, maybe even longer. I love it! It took me a minute to figure out where Michael's other leg is in this photo.

[nightlikeariver.livejournal.com]

velcro shoes make me hot. so do short buses.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

And giant eye-boogers, right?

[nightlikeariver.livejournal.com]

get out of my head!

[anodyne19148.livejournal.com]

LOL! Good for Michael. I hope this one lasts.

Man, I had such a huge crush on him in the '80s when he had the long curly locks and was all mysterious and everyone assumed he was straight. The video for "So. Central Rain" nearly killed me when I was a fey teen.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

The entire Tour Film video from the Green tour has killed me so many times.

[megalopoet.livejournal.com]

wha?! michael stipes, gay?! pshaw.
surely ye jest...
i bet they're just friends.


best thing i've read all week.
hope you've recovered from the parking lot incident.
xox

[megalopoet.livejournal.com]

yep, i forgot the apostrophe. so, that should be "stipe's".
or like my papaw would say it.

[mr-ed1966.livejournal.com]

Too funny!

[st-ranger.livejournal.com]

I wear bad shoes as a big Fuck You to all the gays out there. I'm a rebel like that.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

You hurt so many people when you wear bad shoes......

[st-ranger.livejournal.com]

I'm a heartbreaker, baby.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Please get help. You don't have to live like this.

[welfy.livejournal.com]

I wear these ugly Dr Scholls grandma shoes to work. Maybe *I* should marry Michael Stipe's boyfriend.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Those aren't all that bad, actually, but please do steal this "man" away from Stipey.

[honeywoney.livejournal.com]

It is not about the shoes but the size of the feet, and he has that indeed. No questions as to the attraction between Michael and Mr. Foot Long.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Why are you pouring salt in my wounds!?!?