Drunk Smack 'n' Smack Minus the Drunk Part

[create_destiny]

I wanna to be a vegan terrorist because I'm opposed to stuff an' stuff. I'm like an anti-anti-antivist. And a pro anti prohibitist. I wanna tattoo a bunch of vegetables on my face to show how radical I am. And not just normal vegetables like carrots and broccoli, but weird ones like Africanized elephant garlic and Chinese Monkey leeks.

I wanna pierce my third eye with a rusty railroad spike. And not get a tetanus shot just to show how hardcore I am. And then I wanna get another railroad spike and shove it up my butt and have like a chain dangling from it that comes up between my legs and attaches to my nose ring. And people will be like, "that dude is so hardcore he can hardly walk and if he sits down like a normal person he'll puncture his bowel and die."

I wanna go insane from tetanus and smash some store fronts owned by innocent Asians to draw attention to police brutality. I wanna get arrested like 173 times for civil disobedience. I wanna get all disorderly conducty and go limp bizkit when the police arrest me. I wanna eat out of dumpsters and have incurable ringworm and be like the crustiest crust punk who ever lived in this white college town. I wanna have teenage disciples who worship me and make graffiti from all my super cryptic sayings like, "Disobey the fairy shepherd hog."

Comments

[ygolonac.livejournal.com]

Well, I might have to break up with you if you follow through on all this.

[her-rabbits.livejournal.com]

haaa

the house I just moved from was housing a FREEGAN. eating food past the expiration... he was the biggest mess I ever saw, no wonder he was always disgustingly sick. I hate my old housemates.

[agaitis-byrjun.livejournal.com]

When I was in college, I started writing a long-involved story about ghosts, secret agents, and a rainbow-man who lived on the moon.

My friends started to worry, and said to me, "Jesse, please stop drinking alcohol and Nyquil."

That year is very blurry to me.

microbe eaters of the world unite

[lcurtis.livejournal.com]

You are absolutlly insane; please stay off medication and continue writing.

[anodyne19148.livejournal.com]

That alter ego of yours would fit in well in West Philly. You could squat with the crusties in the abandoned buildings.

[bardcat.livejournal.com]

sounds like some very worthy goals to me!

[faerieariel.livejournal.com]

stopit, I haven't had my coffee yet ;)

[raingirl26.livejournal.com]

You make me think of when I moved to Arizona and had the idea in my head that there would be something other than the same old culture down there since it was close to the mexican border and so wouldn't there be some leakage from down south only to discover that while there was no wall there might as well have been because nothing crossed over from that other world to the american lives on the north side. i was very sad.

[welfy.livejournal.com]

You sound like the people I see at work every day! :^)

[sardonic-artery.livejournal.com]

You forgot the part where they go to great lengths to look different, then complain when it causes them to not fit in into (positive) normal areas. "Thank you for applying for this job, but I feel that the genitals you've tattooed on your neck may be distracting for the fourth graders you'd be teaching at our school. Best of luck elsewhere."

And actually, it's Limp Bizkit. If you spell it right, they really get offended.