Mail Order Tranny

Dear Doro,

My Russian mail-order bride is actually a man dressed as a woman. I paid $25,000 to fly her over here and marry me. On our wedding night I found out she is a he.

What should I do?

Signed,
Russian Bride Bonus Package

********************************************************

Dear Russian Bride Bonus Package:

Your Russian bride probably just has very small breasts and elephantiasis of the clitoris. Take her from behind. Stroke her engorged clitoris like you would your own penis. Don't worry. It will be fine. You worry too much.

God Smites Women Who Love Losers

Dear Doro,

I thought my co-worker "Katrina" was done with her loser boyfriend. But now I find out they're back together. All they do is fight. It makes no sense to me! How can I make her see this decision is stupid?

Signed,
Concerned Co-Worker

*************************************************

Dear Concerned Co-worker:

There ain't nothing gonna help that girl till Jesus himself come bitch-slap her.

And he is gonna do just that, because honey, he bitch-slap all of us at some point, okay? And yeah, it sting. But it's for love, baby, love---- 'cause we ain't thinkin' right.

And he gonna bitch-slap that boyfriend, too. Whew Lordy, don't you worry 'bout that. Praise Jesus. Okay, baby. Peace.