High Anxiety Friday

[create_destiny]

So, I'm sitting at my desk at work when my co-worker/friend walks up to me and hands me a hand-written letter. "Read this," she says, "it will put your life in perspective." I read the letter and it's from a 12 year old girl who has leprosy. She's asking our company for school money. I hand the letter back to my co-worker/friend and say, "I think I'll go wash my hands now."

So I'm lathering my hands and arms up to my elbows like a doctor about to perform surgery and I start to panic.

I mean, What the Hell, Man?!? You don't just give an unsuspecting borderline germaphobe a letter hand-written by somebody with leprosy!!!

I tell another co-worker to google "leprosy" because I was just possibly exposed to it and he reads aloud to me from the World Health Organization website, "The exact mechanism of transmission of leprosy is not known."

Great. It's through hand-written letters, i just know it.

I wiped my hands, arms and my entire desk and keyboard with Clorox wipes. This chick is my best Chico girl, but I was tempted to call HR on her ass!

I snorted a couple of lines of powdered bleach and I'm hoping for the best. Unfortunately I won't know whether or not I have it for 3 - 30 years, because that's how long it can lie dormant in your body!

The google-guy reads a list of symptoms and I begin to feel each one as he describes it:

"Sensory loss is a typical feature of leprosy."

"Oh my God. I can't feel my face," I reply.

"And may be accompanied by a tingling sensation."

"My skin is buzzing!"

"You're very susceptible to suggestion, aren't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Those suffering from leprosy may also become euphoric and experience a heightened sense of well-being," he lies.

"I'm not susceptible to positive suggestion, though. Only negative ones."

Seriously, though. This happened and it's not okay.

Comments

[ygolonac.livejournal.com]

I was gonna modify one of the many leprosy jokes out there to fit this situation but instead I think I'll just say:

HAHA!

[nodressrehersal.livejournal.com]

I did a report on leprosy a kazillion years ago, and from what I remember, it's not all that easy to get without intimate contact with an affected person. Of course, that could've been based on all that they knew about it 37 years ago, but I'm thinking you'll be ok.

Leprosy wise, that is.

[goddamnitbabies.livejournal.com]

Dude, yr aware it's totally curable now, right?

[nightlikeariver.livejournal.com]

oh god. i constantly think i'm dying of something. i don't think i'd ever stop twitching if someone gave me a letter handled by a leper. I UNDERSTAND, lady, i understand. haha.

[primimproper.livejournal.com]

I love your stories and am so glad I found you! Even if you're going to transmit your leprosy to me through the internets.

[bug-311.livejournal.com]

Note to self: do not hang out with d&d anymore...

;)

[whosplittheatom.livejournal.com]

Can I have your arm?

[si-anenome.livejournal.com]

Wow... so sorry. :(

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

My wife is a germphobe, but people usually either react to her fear like it's a joke...or, which still shocks me when it happens, with stupid comments like "It's people like you who are making it so we can't take antibiotics anymore".

Grrrrrrrrrr.

[lcurtis.livejournal.com]

I laughed till tears came to my eyes.