Incredibly Offensive, Do Not Read

[create_destiny]

Dear Michael Stipe:

Yeah, so you have some new French photographer boyfriend who is 17 years younger than you. Who cares? I certainly don't, because look at his freakin' shoes!!! I'm sorry, but are you his lover or his social worker? There is just no excuse for a gay man to be wearing bad shoes like that, especially in Manhattan. And to be photographed in these shoes!?! Why, Michael, why? When am I going to be one of the three women for every seven men you are attracted to? Are you going to write songs about his shoes, now? Do you have some kind-of velcro fetish or mentally-challenged fetish? Because I can be so very mentally-challenged. You should see how I dance and fall in parking lots. I can also let some type of crusty fog build up on my glasses if that turns you on.

Whatever. Screw you. I'm happy for you. You better marry this one.

Call me if you need a gaybee mama. But do it quick because my eggs are about to expire. My rates are low, especially if we skip the turkey baster and do it the old-fashioned way.

Comments

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

I think the gay men in Manhattan probably know more about what is cool or what will be than the straight woman in the flip flop state.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

How dare you question my my fashion sensibilities. Velcro straps on shoes are NEVER okay. This "man" should be arrested by the gay police.

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

I bet you said the same thing the first time you saw someone in orange plastic crocs. Or Uggs.

[ygolonac.livejournal.com]

A few years ago at work management amended the dress code and banned flip flops in the office. There was nearly a revolt. We were >< that close to over throwing our oppressive masters and turning into a socialist paradise but then management realized their mistake and flip flopped on the issue and allowed people to wear them again.

[superhappytime.livejournal.com]

that's funny. I've never worked at a place where they were allowed, I suspect. Though they may not have been expressly forbidden at Lockheed. actually, they might not where I am now, either, but you might lose a toe or some shit.

when I worked in Idaho, because it was electronics and because the air is so dry, you had to wear closes toe shoes...something with the ESD. You've never seen so many hippies in sandals with a closed toe. I didn't even know they existed.