He's Sleeping Now and I'm Plotting My Revenge

So, early yesterday morning I was sleeping peacefully when the boyfriend wakes me up by saying, "Baby, the dog just puked and I need you to look at this and tell me if you know what it is."

I squint into consciousness to see that he's holding a paper towel two feet away from my face with some dog barf on it.

I'm like, "What the fuck, Dude? I'm sleeping and you wake me up to i.d. some dog puke?"

"I'm sorry" he says, "but I need to know where this big chunk of brown rubber came from."

After I ripped him a new one (the boyfriend, not the dog) we discovered that the big brown chunk was from a red rubber ball that the dog had chewed into pieces and swallowed.