He's Sleeping Now and I'm Plotting My Revenge

[create_destiny]

So, early yesterday morning I was sleeping peacefully when the boyfriend wakes me up by saying, "Baby, the dog just puked and I need you to look at this and tell me if you know what it is."

I squint into consciousness to see that he's holding a paper towel two feet away from my face with some dog barf on it.

I'm like, "What the fuck, Dude? I'm sleeping and you wake me up to i.d. some dog puke?"

"I'm sorry" he says, "but I need to know where this big chunk of brown rubber came from."

After I ripped him a new one (the boyfriend, not the dog) we discovered that the big brown chunk was from a red rubber ball that the dog had chewed into pieces and swallowed.

Comments

[vagynafondue.livejournal.com]

Oh man, what a way to wake up! At least he cleaned it up before you had a chance to step in it - that's the WORST.

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

True that.

One time the dog puked and the boyfriend didn't clean it up but made a mental note to himself to ask me if I knew anything about it. Of course he lost this mental note and I discovered the dried up dog barf three days later.

[ygolonac.livejournal.com]

Man, that guy sounds like a wanker!

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you'd probably like him.

[the-mongrel.livejournal.com]

I'm like, "What the fuck, Dude? I'm sleeping and you wake me up to i.d. some dog puke?"
omg dude that made me laugh so hard! sorry :-(

[toodamnloud.livejournal.com]

I feel you. My dog chews up strange stuff all the time.

[metalgypsy.livejournal.com]

maybe you could puke and then wake him up to idenify what you last ate- you could do it after we go out late at night for some gravy fries!

[bug-311.livejournal.com]

Next time I see you in person I must retell the story of Seth and The Cat. I think you'll find it humorous... unfortunetly, I need to to do it live, as it has sound effects that I cannot spell. :D

[c-inside-out.livejournal.com]

as I have yet to figure this whole LJ thing out-i resort to this box-publicy. if there is a message (privatly) option-i have yet to find it.
hint:od alumni-little blond girl-name starting w. 'c' and ending w. 'tina.'
HI! ;)
im so happy to see your still here.
i have joined.
be my friend-see my insides.

[dietcokehed.livejournal.com]

Ok, that's gotta be THE worst thing to wake up to. And I've woken up to some pretty gross stuff...
My precious little kitty left me a RAW chicken breast by my bed, right where I step. And I'm a vegetarian.
My big fat cat CRUNCHING on a dead bird the little precious kitty killed for sport.
And Nick's baby-poo finger painting...I'd take Nick's baby-poo finger paint over unidentifiable dog puke any day :)

'specially since Patrick has to clean up the poo finger paint :P It's his genes after all...

[sonadora.livejournal.com]

hehe wow.

can i add you? you have interesting stories.

I just noticed your commment

[createdestiny.livejournal.com]

Of course, add away!