Catching the Bouquet
Oct. 3rd, 2004 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
create_destinyYesterday, my new man-friend and I attended a wedding for a friend of his. It was an outdoor wedding, complete with a kilt-wearing bagpipe player. I got a little tipsy at the reception and a good time was had by all, or at least me anyway.
When the bride and groom were cutting the cake I just happened to be standing behind the bagpipe player so I took my camera and slyly pointed it up his kilt to document his undergarment situation, purely for historical reasons, you understand. Don't worry people! I chickened out because I knew the flash would get me busted. I didn't want to get kicked out of the reception until I had my fill of cake and wine so I wisely chickidy-checked myself before I rickidy-wrecked myself.
When the announcement was made for all the single women to assemble on the dance floor I knew it was bouquet catchin' time. I swaggered up to the center stage with one of those I'm-not-drunk-I'm-just-so-smooth saunters (you know what I'm talking about) and read the riot act to the other single women just in case they had any crazy ideas about getting between my liquored up self and that bouquet.
The competition was fierce. The bride was even intentionally trying to toss that bouquet into the hands of some relative-type chick, but fate, yes fate, intervened and bounced that bouquet right into my hands!
We barely escaped with our lives, chased out of town as we were by a lynch mob of enraged single women.
The bouquet doesn't lie folks! You're not invited, but send cash nonetheless!
When the bride and groom were cutting the cake I just happened to be standing behind the bagpipe player so I took my camera and slyly pointed it up his kilt to document his undergarment situation, purely for historical reasons, you understand. Don't worry people! I chickened out because I knew the flash would get me busted. I didn't want to get kicked out of the reception until I had my fill of cake and wine so I wisely chickidy-checked myself before I rickidy-wrecked myself.
When the announcement was made for all the single women to assemble on the dance floor I knew it was bouquet catchin' time. I swaggered up to the center stage with one of those I'm-not-drunk-I'm-just-so-smooth saunters (you know what I'm talking about) and read the riot act to the other single women just in case they had any crazy ideas about getting between my liquored up self and that bouquet.
The competition was fierce. The bride was even intentionally trying to toss that bouquet into the hands of some relative-type chick, but fate, yes fate, intervened and bounced that bouquet right into my hands!
We barely escaped with our lives, chased out of town as we were by a lynch mob of enraged single women.
The bouquet doesn't lie folks! You're not invited, but send cash nonetheless!
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-04 07:07 am (UTC)"I'm-not-drunk-I'm-just-so-smooth saunters (you know what I'm talking about)" That line is oh-so-smooth. I always find the way you talk/write/journal whatever entertaining, as it reminds me of me, with the added advantage of it not being me.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-04 08:23 am (UTC)Plus, you're funny as hell sometimes. That ode to soy sauce was just classic! I'm sure you could read that at a poetry slam and bring down the house.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-04 08:26 am (UTC)I think I only write the reviews for two reasons
a) so I remember what I thought of a movie 6 months later
b) it gives me the opportunity to make snarky, sarcastic, humorous commments about actors/acresses/musicians/directors/Hollywood cliches/whatever else crosses my mind.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-04 08:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-04 08:43 am (UTC)