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11. Cheerios are alive and feel pain when we eat them. That's why, when there's only a few Cheerios left in a bowl of milk, they desperately swim away from your spoon and scream for their lives.

12. When riding down an escalator, if you don't jump off right before you get to the bottom you'll get sucked down and mangled in the grates.

13. Coffee and beer are gross and I will never drink that stuff when I grow up.

14. When walking through woods or a field you must be on the lookout for king cobras and killer bees or else you will die.

15. When a person gets fired from a job, their boss sets them on fire with a blow torch.

16. Guinea pigs are what happens when a cat and a pig get married.

17. You've got to watch out for people whose eyebrows grow together because they turn into werewolves whenever there is a full moon.

18. If you get bit by a dog you'll have to get 14 shots in your stomach.

19. Whenever you litter, an Indian on a horse cries.

20. Sex is the most grossest thing EVER and I will never, ever, in a million, BAJILLION years let a boy do that to me!

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