Talkin' More Smack About Texas and My Mom
Sep. 20th, 2004 09:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
create_destinyOkay.
So I went to Texas a few months ago to visit my sister and some baby she just had. I posted numerous bitchy entries about that wretched state and it turns out I still have more to gripe about:
The straps on the purse I bought in TX broke this morning.
I had my eyes brows waxed in TX. They grew back!
I had my hair highlighted in TX. You should see my roots now!
The gay flip-flops I bought in TX stretched out so much that they now fit my boyfriend. He wears them when he needs to fetch stuff from his car. What will the neighbors think?
I never wear that gay, pink hat I bought there and my boyfriend is starting to eye that, too.
***
About my mom:
She's teaching a Women's Studies class at the university. I spoke to her a few days ago and asked her how her class was going. She said that many of her students are bratty, little twits who write crappy papers and then have the nerve to e-mail her when they get the crappy grades they deserve.
So I'm like, whoa, mom, take it easy. Women's Studies is supposed to be an easy "A". All female Women's Studies students are entitled to good grades just for having a uterus. Sheesh, get with the program!
At the end of the conversation she asked if I was still dating "that man", and I'm like, "Yeah mom, I know you wish I were some differently-abled, transgendered, lesbian welder from Afghanistan, but I'm still just some straight, white chick."
So I went to Texas a few months ago to visit my sister and some baby she just had. I posted numerous bitchy entries about that wretched state and it turns out I still have more to gripe about:
The straps on the purse I bought in TX broke this morning.
I had my eyes brows waxed in TX. They grew back!
I had my hair highlighted in TX. You should see my roots now!
The gay flip-flops I bought in TX stretched out so much that they now fit my boyfriend. He wears them when he needs to fetch stuff from his car. What will the neighbors think?
I never wear that gay, pink hat I bought there and my boyfriend is starting to eye that, too.
***
About my mom:
She's teaching a Women's Studies class at the university. I spoke to her a few days ago and asked her how her class was going. She said that many of her students are bratty, little twits who write crappy papers and then have the nerve to e-mail her when they get the crappy grades they deserve.
So I'm like, whoa, mom, take it easy. Women's Studies is supposed to be an easy "A". All female Women's Studies students are entitled to good grades just for having a uterus. Sheesh, get with the program!
At the end of the conversation she asked if I was still dating "that man", and I'm like, "Yeah mom, I know you wish I were some differently-abled, transgendered, lesbian welder from Afghanistan, but I'm still just some straight, white chick."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 10:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:14 am (UTC)Yesterday I wrote a big ole response to your latest post, then when I hit "post comment" some kind of blip happened and my response was gone!
I have a lot to say to you about your current state of mind. I will get to that tonight. In the mean time, hang in there little bro, I assure you that Divine Mercy will never fail us!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 10:18 am (UTC)HA!
And yeah, fuck Texas. That damn state stole my best friend. Texas is a jagoff.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 01:10 pm (UTC)Crazy? Maybe. But probably super, too. Or at least super crazy.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-22 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 05:40 pm (UTC)Secondly, your mom must've taught my women's studies class. That shit was HARD. I got a C. And I'm not a bratty little twit. I read Our Bodies, Our Selves when I was like, 14!
::spits with anger::
no subject
Date: 2004-09-20 11:56 pm (UTC)Anyhoo, Bug said you laughed at her for wearing J. Lo's perfume. I told her you had a very J. Lo hat you bought this summer, so there :P And it's a cute hat, you better start wearing it again so your man doesn't take it. I don't think he'd look too good in it. The flip flops though, those must be Sex-ay on him! :)
And, ok, did you not know the brows would come back?? Alison at Vibe does brows too, I think we need to make an appointment, because I need to get mine done too. We can totally, like, have a girly day!!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 06:36 am (UTC)Yeah, a totally girly day sounds good. I need to have money for that so I'll have to wait a bit. I'm spending all my cash on Dirk!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 09:07 am (UTC)Now that's what I'm talking about.
Remember, my car payment is due by the 25th. Don't be late!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 06:58 am (UTC)Lesbian Welder
Date: 2004-09-22 10:04 am (UTC)Curtis enjoyed your birthday gift, the excitement of receiving a package in the mail is very cool too, your wrappings and decorations are always Beautiful!
Curtis is now a teenager with pubic hair! He is going to boy/girl functions but is still too shy to talk to any of the girls. I think Rachel is going to start her period any day now. She has shown some PMS tendencies, I am fearful we may be in for some challenging days!
Better get ready for class, Love you very much and hope all is PEACHY!
Re: Lesbian Welder
Date: 2004-09-22 11:42 am (UTC)I will pray for your children.
Re: Lesbian Welder
Date: 2004-09-22 03:11 pm (UTC)Those were the good old days.
In defense of your Mother
Date: 2004-09-22 07:39 pm (UTC)(frozen) Re: In defense of your Mother
Date: 2004-09-22 08:33 pm (UTC)Kids these days, got no respect...
She should be ashamed, talking like that about her mom.
(frozen) Don't Be A Hater!
Date: 2004-09-23 01:05 pm (UTC)If I followed that insane logic then I would get to hate California for Ronald Reagan.
People in glass states shouldn't throw stones. Especially if your state happens to rest on a major fault line.
(frozen) Re: Don't Be A Hater!
Date: 2004-09-23 08:59 pm (UTC)As for Ronald Reagan, you better just watch yourself there. That man, single-handedly saved us all from Communism! Well, he did have help from the cute little monkey of his...
And, according to Nancy, if America ever needs him, he'll come back to help us again.
(frozen) Re: Don't Be A Hater!
Date: 2004-09-24 02:21 pm (UTC)But there were some comments up there that I couldn't tell if they were joking or not.
(frozen) you all
Date: 2004-09-24 03:26 am (UTC)(frozen) Re: you all
Date: 2004-09-24 08:15 am (UTC)(frozen) Re: you all
Date: 2004-09-25 07:07 pm (UTC)